Better They Should Say, "Find the TRUE Story"

One of my dream jobs (I have six or eight) would be to write for the Weekly World News, which as you know is the wackiest of the supermarket tabloids. They run a lot of stories with religious themes; archeologists who've discovered the remains of Noah's ark, the mummified bodies of Adam and Eve, or the skeleton of Satan evidently regard the Weekly World News as the most prestigious scientific journal in which to report their findings. For many years now, the paper has also been covering the Washington, D.C., exploits of the big-domed "space alien," who was last seen romancing an obviously excited Condoleezza Rice by licking her face (headline: "White House Hottie Declares: 'He's a Silver-Tongued Devil!'").

The cover of the current issue packs the paper's most brilliant one-two punch ever. The main headline reads, "TWO-HEADED BIGFOOT SHOT BY IOWA COP." It's illustrated with one of the News's typical Photoshop patch jobs, showing the deceased, hirsute primate, two heads and all, prone beside a lush cornfield (it's Iowa, get it?) with a policeman standing over him, pistol in hand.

So far, just a typical News cover. What elevates this issue to genius is the sidebar promoting a reader contest: "FIND THE FAKE STORY INSIDE AND WIN $200!"

I love the sheer chutzpah of this challenge: Find the one fake story in the Weekly World News!? And the perfect capper is the chintziness of the prize ($200?!), underscored by the backdrop image of--ooh, ooh!--a twenty-dollar bill!!

Jon Stewart likes to claim that his show is the world's leading purveyor of fake news, but I give the honors to the Weekly World News.