Saturday, November 19, 2005

A Lawyer in the Family

The Weber clan is celebrating Janee Woods Weber's ascendancy to the bars of both New York State and Connecticut. She passed the exam the first time out, which is more than certain members of the Kennedy family can claim. Congratulations, Janee--not that we were surprised by the news.

Having our first lawyer in the family will probably be a mixed blessing. On the down side, it means that we'll now have to avoid lawyer jokes at family gatherings, which is a shame, since it's a rich genre. (I like the one about the lawyer who protests to St. Peter about having died at the young age of 35. Peter scrutinizes his records and explains, "Based on the billable hours you claimed, we figured you must have been working for at least seventy-five years.") Our ethnically diverse family has already eliminated many other categories of non-P.C. humor, and now we'll be forced to rely even more heavily on anti-Bush jokes. God help us if we ever get a Republican in the family.

The big benefit, of course, will be knowing that we can credibly threaten to sue people who cross us. Over Thanksgiving dinner I'm planning to get Janee's opinion about the strength of my cases against the SUV driver who takes up two spaces in the parking lot and the shopper at the A&P who claims a spot in the express lane even though she plainly has eighteen items in her cart. Watch out, evildoers--vengeance is coming.

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